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Thursday, July 23, 2009

My work during one of the kothapet power cuts

CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR BETTER VIEW

A physics class @ iitm ...



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Since some of my readers find it difficult to understand the cartoon, I am adding a short description of it below :)

The first pic says that the a physics prof is giving a lecture on gauss curve. ( I mis-spelt the name "GAUSS" in the 1st picture lol ! I really suck @ gauss-related-physics :P )
The second one is quite obvious. He asks the class to give a live example of gauss curve.
Here comes the third. Imagine a typical CRC groundfloor classroom. (101/102/103)
The fans are at the edges of the room. So junta come and fill the seats following ANTI-BOHR`s rule. ( Benches are filled from last to first unlike the electrons which fill up from first shell to last shell ) & since there are no fans for the middle rows, these are least preferred taking into consideration, the CHENNAI climate.
SO THE CURVE THAT I DREW IN THE CLASSROOM CONNECTING THE TWO LAST BENCHES ON EITHER SIDE IS THE REAL LIFE EXAMPLE OF GAUSS CURVE !!! ;) Got it ? :)
Another point can be drawn from the curve - The peak is occupied by GEEKS, the mid-portion by indecisive/unstable guyz ( & gals?? ) , the end portions by last bench rockers ! (I`m one of those last bench ZZZ`s in the picture)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

THE T-COMPANY

I want to write something about a company which is ruining people`s lives. Lemme call it the T-company. The first T-product we used was the landline telephone. IT.SIMPLY.SUCKS. The charge in the battery runs with the velocity of light! You have a cup of coffee and the charge gets over. You have a bath and come and the charge gets over. You just keep looking at it for 10 minutes and the charge gets over. And lemme tell you the dumbest design that was incorporated in this piece of trash. When the charge of the battery is running low, instead of getting into a less-power-consuming-mode , this dirty box keeps screaming that the battery is low consuming extra-power for the sound and light it produces during that scream !! THE T-DESIGNER OF THIS PRODUCT SUCKS. There was a recent announcement that these pieces are being replaced with cool newer ones for free. With a big hope, we went to the T-showroom and guess what ! "OUT OF STOCK" was their answer for all the three times we tried! THEN WHY DO THEY MAINTAIN A SHOWROOM ?? JUST DUMP IT ANYWHERE.

If this is termed as worst T-product, there are no words to describe the T-USB MODEM. It is just a black box made of sand and programmed in such a way that an LED lights up after waiting for a minute its connected to the USB, & NOTHING MORE THAN THAT! But wait, for that light, you need to pay DAMN 1200 rs. pm for the unlimited package. They say this box produces internet speeds upto 153kbps but i hardly got more than 20 kbps !
The worst experience with this USB modem was the loose connection it has to connect to the USB port. We almost held it vertical to light up the LED and pay 1200 rs. for it ...
NOW COMES T`s POOREST SERVICE AGAIN.
We put up a new internet connection and went to the T-showroom to get the great T-USB MODEM disconnected.
"Whats the problem sir? " An idiotic T-guy asked.
"We want to get this disconnected" pointing at the piece of trash that tortured our lives for an year.
"Ok.. disconnection guy went for lunch sir, he`ll be back in 5 minutes.. please wait."
The time was 4.30 PM. I wonder if a social being has lunch at that time.
We waited for half-an-hour but none turned up. So, disappointed and frustrated, we went back.
We again came the next day and the same conversation was replayed!
That was at 2.30 pm i guess.
When I meet that guy, I wanted to ask him " what is your lunch time and what do you eat ? "
After waiting for 10 minutes, we were about to go away but someone entered the showroom. He was PURE BLACK in color... A stupid look on his face.... short.. he was in a formal attire... unpolished shoes.. a tie.. and OMG a T-identity card ! He`s an employee of T !!!
"Who the fuck is he ?! " I thought and later shocked to find out that he was infact the disconnection guy himself and we were waiting for him since 2 days ! I dunno what he really does during his "very-short" lunch break but he was slim.
"Whats the problem ?" he asked quick & rude.
"This one sucks.. please throw it away in the dustbin" I wanted to say but my brother started the conversation and they went on..
Finally, we asked how much we need to pay for that month..
Then what he said really made us boiled beetroots !!
"Sir, You should pay 1200 for this month but see the new plan sir.. The same connection which you were having till now is just 800 rs. sir.. if u want to continue.."
"WHAAAAATTT from how many days is this 800rs scheme ?????"
"from 4 months sir"
I felt like taking a knife and killing him or the better way would be to ask him to use the T-USB MODEM for a day :P If the same package of ours was made into 800 rs., why didnt the T inform us ? Who does it think the old customers are? DUMB ASS !!??
When the same above question was put in a formal way before this so-called T-disconnection guy, "Sir, you should ask for the latest changes in our plans" The boiled beetroot jumped from the cooking vessel now.
THIS WAS THE WORST ANSWER ANY COMPANY WOULD GIVE TO ITS CUSTOMERS !
& another dumb fact was that this guy revealed the truth now as he hopes that we would continue using the modem since it was 400rs. less now ....
WOW GREAT LOGIC , isnt ?
Finally, we paid the required amount and we were not sad as we could get rid of the worst internet connection in the world, not to mention the excess money we paid.

While this conversation was going on, I read a pamphlet of the new T-proton+ modem (name changed here) which says speeds upto 3.1 mbps and guess what ! It asks us to pay 6999 rs. per month !!!!! and DAMN SHIT THERE IS A DOWNLOAD LIMIT FOR THE PACKAGE !! THIS SUCKS TO THE CORE! EVERY T-PRODUCT SUCKS..!

Monday, July 13, 2009

My first attempt @ visual effects...

video

"THIS IS MY FIRST VISUAL EFFECTS PROJECT DONE IN AFTER EFFECTS" - This statement and the above video convey the same message that I made a video, it`s related to visual effects, it was rendered using after effects.
Did you observe the difference between the two ways of communication ?? !! OMG !

The first good thing about the video is its completely done by me :) & another good thing to notice is that its a 3D video but I`vnt used any 3DS MAX or the deadly MAYA .... (Ofcourse, I dunno how to use ;) ) . The work was entirely done in ADOBE AFTER EFFECTS CS3 with a little help from my favourite software PHOTOSHOP. :) A bad thing is that no audio has been added to it.. :(

Firstly, I thought I should work out something so that I can learn After Effects in a better way.. & this also came as a suggestion from a design GOD(guess who ?!). So I asked google to help me out with the basics of AfterEffects by which i came to know stuff like how to deal with a camera, how to apply effects, what does a light do etc etc.. With all those in mind, I`ve tried the above project. Firstly I designed a wall in photoshop. (Man! Don`t get amazed to know that the walls of the room in this video are just grayscale JPEGs made in photoshop !! )



Ah! I feel that could`ve been much better. Ofcourse it`s upto you to design a wall. More Motion blur @ 90degrees and less use of splatter brushes would`ve given a cooler wall effect than this one. Anyways,this was duplicated 5 times in after effects and arranged in the form of a room. Then how come they are green in color ??
After effects provides you lights & cameras like 3DSMAX ! Yeah, so , I`ve used a green point light here :O WOW!
The remaining work was done by cameras and text effects . The latter is very easy to work with but the former is a bit confusing...
The entire work was done in 2 & 1/2 hrs and my poor laptop added an extra hour for rendering the 30 odd seconds video !!! :O
After final rendering of the video, guess what happened .. THE OUTPUT FILE WAS F*** 1.15GB in size !!!!!!! Then came TVC to my rescue :). Total video converter - an excellent software for converting videos from one format to another. It converted the 1.15GB file to a mere 7.5MB video without disturbing the quality of the work :). (ofcourse the swf format which you see in this post is even more smaller.. its just 1.5MB )
Anyways, I`ll be looking forward to make much more better videos if someone can help me out. I hope I`d find a teacher now and may be a student later on ... !

Sunday, July 5, 2009

A day in my second semester..

My state (since the start of second semester): total joblessness, frustration
Probable reason: My state of mind which jumps from one topic to other but doesnt actually fix to anything ensuing an useless life. (May be that tensors girl calling me brother is also a reason :P )
To tell you the truth I have a great sense of insecurity that keeps haunting me all the times. It’s just that I want to come out of this DAMN place and continue to work on my interests - most probably THE MULTIMEDIA. Sometimes this place gets just too sickening for me. I want to start a new life.

Its kind of a boring life in my last semester at iit, especially due to my strong determination to get a good CGPA, as my grades in first semester sucks! But I am not sure if it’s for any good. It’s just that I don’t wanna do anything here now.
I woke up at 10 am in the morning. I curse myself for waking up so early, but I cant help.. it’s too hot to sleep ! I pick up the newspaper which the boy passed or pushed or thrown into my room from the bottom space between the door and the floor, early in the morning when I was busy dating shreyasaran in my day dreams.... and read the same old stuff, Obama speaks some fucking stuff, Satyam scam to be a part of academic portion for some university in the US, Sania drops out in the second round of some tournament( I wonder why she cannot proceed to further rounds :P ).. and blah blah blah!!! I believe eighty percent of the content can be prepared by media by just sitting in their offices as it’s just the same old stuff. Anyway I pack it and dump it in the waste basket put up just outside my room.. and that adds more to my dirty state of mind with it`s horrible smell. It’s 11 and I can go to my D slot class. But I have absolutely no enthusiasm, especially when I have missed my morning slots. Infact to tell you the truth, I haven’t attended a single class in that week for the ThermoD course. Proxys helped for attendance. Even for the courses which I went, it`s just a waste of time as I`d found in deep sleep in the classes. Sometime, I even wonder if the professors have actually enrolled me for these courses !. Such a stupid fellow, I`m. Time passes by, leaving me in state of indecision and daydream, cursing my life at iit or making plans to change myself in case I am in a better mood.

My clock strikes 12 am its grub time. I go down to the mess. FUCK!! Same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. Somehow I fill my stomach, have a glass of fruit juice (most of the times free! - yeah, friend`s coupons will help. Moreover, the juice guy suck at maths and it is proved from the fact that one day we had 4 glasses for 8 rs. when the cost of each glass is 12 rs. !!) and go back to my room. I force myself to watch youtube videos on photoshop tutorials. It’s painful (the sun keeps fucking me untill i stop everything & sleep) . I pack it after 15 to 20 mins. It’s 1pm now. I plan to go to the lab to gain 1 credit. MAN!! I have to cycle 1.5 km in the hot sun. No course other than this would give a good grade this semester. Eventually after a lot of conflicting thoughts about my sense of duty and my laziness that has taken over me this semester, I plan to go. I pull over my jeans, unwashed for 2 months, my faded t shirt which says "I came I saw I e'vol'ved" and black&red chappals and I ride my bicycle (-the most irritating thing of mine), making an unbearable noise because of some loosened screws. 2:30pm I am there. I go to the lab instructor and force a smile at his grunting face.
Me: Good afternoon, Sir.
He: Why so late ??
Me: speechless. Trying to get an intelligent answer but damn I can’t.
He(irritated voice and still grumbling): Take this apparatus and immediately start working on your experiment.
Anyway I reply: yes sir. That’s what I could think of after 10 minutes. Damn I am bad at instantaneous speaking capabilities.With my head down I walk to the adjoining room, take a copy of my experiment details from friend`s lab manual, take a nap for an hour. It’s 3:30 pm and I try to start the experiment by the time when my batchmates have already completed it and making final corrections and stuff...Then, why should I wait ! I just copy whatever crappy stuff they wrote about the swinging pendulum (- Actually, its not the pendulum experiment.. I cannot even remember the name of the experiments that I`ve done..It`s more difficult than to actually do them! & since swinging pendulum is the most common physics experiment which every kid knows, I mentioned the same). Show my record to the instructor, keep my mouth shut for a few minutes till he corrects it and ask viva. If I answer the viva, I`d get 9+ . Or else around 7 or 8. Since I dont give a DAMN about such stuff, I kiss my upper lip with the
lower one so as not to say anything. I just want some marks..whatever be the magnitude.

Now, it`s time to go to the canteen. I have a delicious puff and coffee @ guru. This is the only reason I love iit madras... It has got GURUNATH !!!

It’s 5pm and I am back to my den. I watch junta playing football in the quady. Some see at me and rain some comments on me, which I cannot digest. And the reason for those is quite obvious - I dont play sports. I`ve mentioned the same point many-a-times in my posts... Ofcourse, when I`ve no interest in doing something , why should I ???

I open my laptop which will be on for around 30 hrs a day, sit before it and do some mindless surfing. I go to mess and find same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. I can’t torture myself anymore and I call my friend, pratheesh " Hey, dude Basera?”
He(food-lover he is): You gonna treat me.
Me: Dude. I paid last time we went out.
He: No macha, low on cash.
Me: you are an asshole, you gonna give me back all my dads money.
He: We will see that later. (But the reverse case also happens sometimes :P). We eventually agree to go. Me: “How much do you have?” He: 50 Rs in my pocket.
I have around 150 Rs. After having some arguments about the place to go - basera or andhra mess, We finally landed on BASERA - the midnight multi-cuisine restaurant of IIT MADRAS.

He plunges into food and we discuss about different stuff. Mainly the politics inside the campus, music, movies, books, courses and how unfortunate we are in terms of interaction with opposite sex. We have a diverse ecosystem inside the campus. Males, different varieties of trees and animals, you name it and its here, black bug, spotted deers, monkeys etc. and few non males too (as commonly referred by junta here - Reason not known to me). Statistics say non-males comprises 10 percent of human population inside the campus. I wonder what will be the state of an iitian when he walks out of this campus and sees a female. Imprisoned inside these 250 hectares for at least 4 complete years, (in case he doesn’t gets debarred) one will be lucky to spot a female. Once he walks out
and sees that sex ratio isn’t as screwed as represented inside, it will be quite good a feeling. I remember one of my seniors saying males in iit , being desperate to talk to girls but having no opportunity, are turning into gays !! :P May be those new gay laws by the government are applicable to many cases in our institute :P.

After grub, I come back, open DC++ and search for movies. I have seen almost all except mallu and tam movies. I download those and try to pass my time until midnight. It`s 12 and net is down. I open photoshop for sometime and then try to modify some pic, mostly trying to "monkeyfy"(- I dont know the existence of this particular word, but I hope you get the meaning) my friend`s faces ! 1:30pm. Check if someone is awake. My roommate is awake reading about the collapse of world in 2012( he reads with such a great interest that I wonder sometimes that he is gonna design something and submit it to NASA to stop the asteroid from hitting the earth ) Pratheesh is awake playing football.I wish to go there and learn, but I`m too lazy. I sit in the corridor, listening to some songs..and then pack. I go to XXX, disturb him while he is busy mugging.(RG - what we call ). 2pm come back to room, have a second visit to basera for a cup of coffee..(COFFEE @ BASERA @ MIDNIGHT is the coolest thing that one can do in iit madras.. it tickles your neurons and you get hell lot of confidence). I come back and start my blog. It’s boring and sooner I crash off.

This has been my routine for many days in this semester. What I feel is that life at iits is different, rather funny at times. One has problems adjusting initially but then you get used to it. Your lifestyle moulds here, unaffected by the world outside. It consists of routine life and then more routine. Till now, I do not actually know what I did or why I did in my first year.

This post is hypothetical, imaginary. One of the many day dreams of the author (that is me!).

P.S. : This work is only 75% original. 25% was copied from some other source which I cannot reveal.