My state (since the start of second semester): total joblessness, frustration
Probable reason: My state of mind which jumps from one topic to other but doesnt actually fix to anything ensuing an useless life. (May be that tensors girl calling me brother is also a reason :P )
To tell you the truth I have a great sense of insecurity that keeps haunting me all the times. It’s just that I want to come out of this DAMN place and continue to work on my interests - most probably THE MULTIMEDIA. Sometimes this place gets just too sickening for me. I want to start a new life.
Its kind of a boring life in my last semester at iit, especially due to my strong determination to get a good CGPA, as my grades in first semester sucks! But I am not sure if it’s for any good. It’s just that I don’t wanna do anything here now.
I woke up at 10 am in the morning. I curse myself for waking up so early, but I cant help.. it’s too hot to sleep ! I pick up the newspaper which the boy passed or pushed or thrown into my room from the bottom space between the door and the floor, early in the morning when I was busy dating shreyasaran in my day dreams.... and read the same old stuff, Obama speaks some fucking stuff, Satyam scam to be a part of academic portion for some university in the US, Sania drops out in the second round of some tournament( I wonder why she cannot proceed to further rounds :P ).. and blah blah blah!!! I believe eighty percent of the content can be prepared by media by just sitting in their offices as it’s just the same old stuff. Anyway I pack it and dump it in the waste basket put up just outside my room.. and that adds more to my dirty state of mind with it`s horrible smell. It’s 11 and I can go to my D slot class. But I have absolutely no enthusiasm, especially when I have missed my morning slots. Infact to tell you the truth, I haven’t attended a single class in that week for the ThermoD course. Proxys helped for attendance. Even for the courses which I went, it`s just a waste of time as I`d found in deep sleep in the classes. Sometime, I even wonder if the professors have actually enrolled me for these courses !. Such a stupid fellow, I`m. Time passes by, leaving me in state of indecision and daydream, cursing my life at iit or making plans to change myself in case I am in a better mood.
My clock strikes 12 am its grub time. I go down to the mess. FUCK!! Same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. Somehow I fill my stomach, have a glass of fruit juice (most of the times free! - yeah, friend`s coupons will help. Moreover, the juice guy suck at maths and it is proved from the fact that one day we had 4 glasses for 8 rs. when the cost of each glass is 12 rs. !!) and go back to my room. I force myself to watch youtube videos on photoshop tutorials. It’s painful (the sun keeps fucking me untill i stop everything & sleep) . I pack it after 15 to 20 mins. It’s 1pm now. I plan to go to the lab to gain 1 credit. MAN!! I have to cycle 1.5 km in the hot sun. No course other than this would give a good grade this semester. Eventually after a lot of conflicting thoughts about my sense of duty and my laziness that has taken over me this semester, I plan to go. I pull over my jeans, unwashed for 2 months, my faded t shirt which says "I came I saw I e'vol'ved" and black&red chappals and I ride my bicycle (-the most irritating thing of mine), making an unbearable noise because of some loosened screws. 2:30pm I am there. I go to the lab instructor and force a smile at his grunting face.
Me: Good afternoon, Sir.
He: Why so late ??
Me: speechless. Trying to get an intelligent answer but damn I can’t.
He(irritated voice and still grumbling): Take this apparatus and immediately start working on your experiment.
Anyway I reply: yes sir. That’s what I could think of after 10 minutes. Damn I am bad at instantaneous speaking capabilities.With my head down I walk to the adjoining room, take a copy of my experiment details from friend`s lab manual, take a nap for an hour. It’s 3:30 pm and I try to start the experiment by the time when my batchmates have already completed it and making final corrections and stuff...Then, why should I wait ! I just copy whatever crappy stuff they wrote about the swinging pendulum (- Actually, its not the pendulum experiment.. I cannot even remember the name of the experiments that I`ve done..It`s more difficult than to actually do them! & since swinging pendulum is the most common physics experiment which every kid knows, I mentioned the same). Show my record to the instructor, keep my mouth shut for a few minutes till he corrects it and ask viva. If I answer the viva, I`d get 9+ . Or else around 7 or 8. Since I dont give a DAMN about such stuff, I kiss my upper lip with the
lower one so as not to say anything. I just want some marks..whatever be the magnitude.
Now, it`s time to go to the canteen. I have a delicious puff and coffee @ guru. This is the only reason I love iit madras... It has got GURUNATH !!!
It’s 5pm and I am back to my den. I watch junta playing football in the quady. Some see at me and rain some comments on me, which I cannot digest. And the reason for those is quite obvious - I dont play sports. I`ve mentioned the same point many-a-times in my posts... Ofcourse, when I`ve no interest in doing something , why should I ???
I open my laptop which will be on for around 30 hrs a day, sit before it and do some mindless surfing. I go to mess and find same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. I can’t torture myself anymore and I call my friend, pratheesh " Hey, dude Basera?”
He(food-lover he is): You gonna treat me.
Me: Dude. I paid last time we went out.
He: No macha, low on cash.
Me: you are an asshole, you gonna give me back all my dads money.
He: We will see that later. (But the reverse case also happens sometimes :P). We eventually agree to go. Me: “How much do you have?” He: 50 Rs in my pocket.
I have around 150 Rs. After having some arguments about the place to go - basera or andhra mess, We finally landed on BASERA - the midnight multi-cuisine restaurant of IIT MADRAS.
He plunges into food and we discuss about different stuff. Mainly the politics inside the campus, music, movies, books, courses and how unfortunate we are in terms of interaction with opposite sex. We have a diverse ecosystem inside the campus. Males, different varieties of trees and animals, you name it and its here, black bug, spotted deers, monkeys etc. and few non males too (as commonly referred by junta here - Reason not known to me). Statistics say non-males comprises 10 percent of human population inside the campus. I wonder what will be the state of an iitian when he walks out of this campus and sees a female. Imprisoned inside these 250 hectares for at least 4 complete years, (in case he doesn’t gets debarred) one will be lucky to spot a female. Once he walks out
and sees that sex ratio isn’t as screwed as represented inside, it will be quite good a feeling. I remember one of my seniors saying males in iit , being desperate to talk to girls but having no opportunity, are turning into gays !! :P May be those new gay laws by the government are applicable to many cases in our institute :P.
After grub, I come back, open DC++ and search for movies. I have seen almost all except mallu and tam movies. I download those and try to pass my time until midnight. It`s 12 and net is down. I open photoshop for sometime and then try to modify some pic, mostly trying to "monkeyfy"(- I dont know the existence of this particular word, but I hope you get the meaning) my friend`s faces ! 1:30pm. Check if someone is awake. My roommate is awake reading about the collapse of world in 2012( he reads with such a great interest that I wonder sometimes that he is gonna design something and submit it to NASA to stop the asteroid from hitting the earth ) Pratheesh is awake playing football.I wish to go there and learn, but I`m too lazy. I sit in the corridor, listening to some songs..and then pack. I go to XXX, disturb him while he is busy mugging.(RG - what we call ). 2pm come back to room, have a second visit to basera for a cup of coffee..(COFFEE @ BASERA @ MIDNIGHT is the coolest thing that one can do in iit madras.. it tickles your neurons and you get hell lot of confidence). I come back and start my blog. It’s boring and sooner I crash off.
This has been my routine for many days in this semester. What I feel is that life at iits is different, rather funny at times. One has problems adjusting initially but then you get used to it. Your lifestyle moulds here, unaffected by the world outside. It consists of routine life and then more routine. Till now, I do not actually know what I did or why I did in my first year.
This post is hypothetical, imaginary. One of the many day dreams of the author (that is me!).
P.S. : This work is only 75% original. 25% was copied from some other source which I cannot reveal.