Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How is a horror movie made?

There is a happy family with a responsible dad, a hot mom and 2 kids, a boy and a girl(Usually the girl being elder). They move to a new house, located far off from the city, for no reason. There are no neighbors, thanks to all horror movie directors. There is usually a forest or some greenery in the surroundings of the house. There is always a swing outside the house that swings without anyone on it. There is at least one huge tree in the area. The kids love to play with toys, especially the girl - she is fond of dolls. All dolls are terrific, I say. One or two servants can also be a part of the play. They have no role in the movie except for a couple of scenes where they fear from something which will not be shown and die brutally.

The first 80% of the movie is the same god damn shit in every horror film. All the family members begin to involve in strange and terrifying experience. The background score is THE thing that plays a major part in all these scenes. It mostly consists of mono/di syllable (- I dont the music-equivalent word for this) notes with low pitch and high intensity.  C`m`n people, try to watch a horror movie mute! Its just as same as a Balayya comedy.

Now, our responsible dad never believes in ghosts and stuff (though his heart slips into his pants in the climax), and he convinces his family members that there is nothing extra-ordinary or supernatural happening in their new home. 
The female lead bathes and comes into the bedroom with less/no clothes and there is one hot scene between the parents just to spice up the horror.
Yup, horror and sex go well with each other.
The camera mostly moves close to the character slowly from the backside. 

The director may bring in one more character who is a swami or something with all weird stuff on him. He murmurs some mantras as if God is speaking to him and tells the hero about his situation and some remedy which will be more stupid than whatever you expect.

Last 20% has the action part, which is the only thing that differs from movie to movie. But the common aspect here is that this will be shot only during nights. Yea, the ghost just creates horror in the day time, and triggers the action part i.e. killing someone only during nights. Its kind of standard timings for all types of ghosts. 

All those previous 80% stuff can be from a real ghost or its pure drama. The whole family surviving hardly happens. Either of the parents die or turn into a ghost. Children go crazy. If it is a RGV movie, all the characters in the movie turn into ghosts or all of them just die. RGV, please enlighten us, do we have a choice of which path to take when we die? 

After the final night`s drama in the house, the screen fades into black and a fresh early morning sun is shown. Everything is shown to be peaceful till the last minute where the director pitches in something that enables to make him a sequel which will be equally/more stupid than its prequel.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Wing updates v2.0

  • GRT is in a pursuit of knowing who he is and why he was sent to earth by God; He lately realized that he is a robot. (Factoid: Robots can sleep more than 24hrs a day.)
  • Pratheesh is doing only half of the semester`s credits. He says that is all is needed. There is no G slot for Pratheesh.
  • Kasa has transformed completely into a gay. “I am not getting XXX even on seeing porn, but I am getting it when I see N***" is what he recently stated.
  • Two civil guys roaming in the wing exposing their top has turned into a serious threat for the other inmates of the wing who are always into these naked stuff.
  • Nithin is accused of breaking  the Bro code rules. Volume II, Rule 24 says “No Bro shall fall in love with a second year no matter how beautiful she is. The maximum limit in this context is saying “dude… she is sexy.””  Nithin went to CCD with XXX, a fish vol. (new folder 4?)
  • “It has been one month since I went to ascendas” bharath sadly says; as if he is doing a course in Ascendas and he is on the verge of getting a W grade.
  • Reports said Bladdy came out of his room with newspapers whose number is greater than what is needed to build the strongest paper chair for ID110 project, saying “Mama… I just started cleaning my room. This is just a teaser.”
  • No one is able to understand why elec IB is trying to RG mech junta.
  • Uttam successfully taught a lesson to Loya by stealing his laptop. Next on the line is Nithin.
  • Kasa couldn’t provide justification to his own title The Turbomachine. He secured just 3 out of 5 marks in a slip test. “How can one write about himself?” he asks.
  • People coming out from Pampa entrance said that they called fire engine when they saw smoke coming out from Karthik`s room. It was sent back later when they came to know that the reason for the same was excessive mugging. Kasa suggested to put a cooling pad on him.
  • "We are family" says Karthik, when the profs call Aarya, Geetha and Ajay in the same order.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

17th October, 2010

Life has been bottled so far.
Hope to reflect myself on the eve of my birthday, today...
(The mirror is not too far!)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A lab viva session (Horrrrrrrriiiiible)

Hi friends,
After experiencing an awesome Shaastra 2010, I am back with a new post. More on Shaastra stuff later, but something that happened today made me immediately login to my blogger account and scribble this thing.

I did not really care about the psychic viva for the roundness error experiment until I really experienced it today. Well, I guess that is more than enough an introduction, this is how it went...

ME 21 to 25 are our team members, with 21 being myself.
23 had the first session. Next, it was 24`s turn to get raped. 
Then, I went in.

Thinking that I am 25 while the actual 25 is "Rakesh Reddy", 

Prof invited me in saying, "Reddy?" which I heard as "ready?"

"Yes, sir." I said with a confusion.

"Rakesh Reddy?"

"oops. no sir, I am raviteja, 21."

"Ok. Sit down." He sounded crisp.

Reading the conclusion in my report, his first question was "is that all you concluded?"

I did not know what to reply. Yeah, that was all I concluded; Is there anything else in that shit?? I dont know. I dont care.

After a few normal questions which I was able to answer peacefully and when I started thinking that everything was going well, he started the great psychic show.

"Show this in the graph." He asked, pointing at a value in the table in my report. I took the graph and showed the difference between the 2 plots at that value, which is exactly what he was asking.

"Measure it." he ordered.

I took a scale and found it to be some 7.6 mm.

"It is 7.6mm sir and since in this graph, 5 microns is equal to 9 mm.."
I was about to scale the measured value and tell him, but he interrupted.

"is equal to?????" he asked.

"err.. i mean.. scale.. equivalent"

"Equivalent??? You and this guy have a head, 2 eyes etc.,. Both of you are equivalent?" He asked pointing at one of the TAs. All of us smiled including the embarrassed TA.

After a minute of silence, 
"Ok. Since you used the word equivalent, what are equivalent traingles?"

Is there anything called equivalent triangles? I dont know.
"Sir, if the angles in 2 triangles are same, they are called as equivalent triangles."

"Oh! then what are similar triangles?"

Shit. "Sir, similar triangles are the ones with equal angles. I do not know what are equivalent triangles."

May be he also did not know. He changed the question.

"What is the distance between the cylindrical part and the probe just before the start of the experiment?"

"That is the stupidest question I have ever heard" I wanted to say. All we know is that it is kept at a certain distance before we start measuring the roundness. 
After another moment of silence and a blank face that I put, 

"It will be shown in the screen at that time." He gave a supposed-to-be-hint-for-him while it was pure-bull-shit for me.

"Sorry sir. I did not see." I tried to be as polite as possible.

"You did not see??" He was surprised as if I did not see Rehman receiving Oscar.

"I mean.. I saw.. but I did not observe sir."

This is the moment I was caught! Folding his hands, adjusting his spectacles close to his nose and leaning back a bit, "Ok. What is the difference between seeing and observing?"

How the hell is it related to roundness measurement? Anyways, 

"Seeing is just looking at things and observation is understanding what you see, sir" I replied smartly. Smart enough that he gave this comment which I am currently trying to interpret - 
"As your age increases, your knowledge should increase but it is currently decreasing for us."

Lastly, he asked me if I participated for Shaastra. I wanted to boast that I am the design core but then imagining the consequent questions that may follow, I packed.

That`s it for the day. One hell of psychic melodrama in MSB.

Catch you later guys.