Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How is a horror movie made?

There is a happy family with a responsible dad, a hot mom and 2 kids, a boy and a girl(Usually the girl being elder). They move to a new house, located far off from the city, for no reason. There are no neighbors, thanks to all horror movie directors. There is usually a forest or some greenery in the surroundings of the house. There is always a swing outside the house that swings without anyone on it. There is at least one huge tree in the area. The kids love to play with toys, especially the girl - she is fond of dolls. All dolls are terrific, I say. One or two servants can also be a part of the play. They have no role in the movie except for a couple of scenes where they fear from something which will not be shown and die brutally.

The first 80% of the movie is the same god damn shit in every horror film. All the family members begin to involve in strange and terrifying experience. The background score is THE thing that plays a major part in all these scenes. It mostly consists of mono/di syllable (- I dont the music-equivalent word for this) notes with low pitch and high intensity.  C`m`n people, try to watch a horror movie mute! Its just as same as a Balayya comedy.

Now, our responsible dad never believes in ghosts and stuff (though his heart slips into his pants in the climax), and he convinces his family members that there is nothing extra-ordinary or supernatural happening in their new home. 
The female lead bathes and comes into the bedroom with less/no clothes and there is one hot scene between the parents just to spice up the horror.
Yup, horror and sex go well with each other.
The camera mostly moves close to the character slowly from the backside. 

The director may bring in one more character who is a swami or something with all weird stuff on him. He murmurs some mantras as if God is speaking to him and tells the hero about his situation and some remedy which will be more stupid than whatever you expect.

Last 20% has the action part, which is the only thing that differs from movie to movie. But the common aspect here is that this will be shot only during nights. Yea, the ghost just creates horror in the day time, and triggers the action part i.e. killing someone only during nights. Its kind of standard timings for all types of ghosts. 

All those previous 80% stuff can be from a real ghost or its pure drama. The whole family surviving hardly happens. Either of the parents die or turn into a ghost. Children go crazy. If it is a RGV movie, all the characters in the movie turn into ghosts or all of them just die. RGV, please enlighten us, do we have a choice of which path to take when we die? 

After the final night`s drama in the house, the screen fades into black and a fresh early morning sun is shown. Everything is shown to be peaceful till the last minute where the director pitches in something that enables to make him a sequel which will be equally/more stupid than its prequel.


rajeevloya said...

and there will also be a werid guy with beard as long as ladan's
who knows everything which is gonna happen and tries to warn them but nobody beleives them

80%of these type movies are done by RGV

ravi teja said...

by "swami" I meant to include all these stuff mama

sravani said...

taking hollywood into to consideration as well,1.the girl always survives.2.none of the characters have phone.3.the monster is back,always.drowning,stabbing,shooting,burning it..dont work.4.the african american dude is the first to go!

ravi teja said...

@sravani - lol :D nice one