Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A lab viva session (Horrrrrrrriiiiible)

Hi friends,
After experiencing an awesome Shaastra 2010, I am back with a new post. More on Shaastra stuff later, but something that happened today made me immediately login to my blogger account and scribble this thing.

I did not really care about the psychic viva for the roundness error experiment until I really experienced it today. Well, I guess that is more than enough an introduction, this is how it went...

ME 21 to 25 are our team members, with 21 being myself.
23 had the first session. Next, it was 24`s turn to get raped. 
Then, I went in.

Thinking that I am 25 while the actual 25 is "Rakesh Reddy", 

Prof invited me in saying, "Reddy?" which I heard as "ready?"

"Yes, sir." I said with a confusion.

"Rakesh Reddy?"

"oops. no sir, I am raviteja, 21."

"Ok. Sit down." He sounded crisp.

Reading the conclusion in my report, his first question was "is that all you concluded?"

I did not know what to reply. Yeah, that was all I concluded; Is there anything else in that shit?? I dont know. I dont care.

After a few normal questions which I was able to answer peacefully and when I started thinking that everything was going well, he started the great psychic show.

"Show this in the graph." He asked, pointing at a value in the table in my report. I took the graph and showed the difference between the 2 plots at that value, which is exactly what he was asking.

"Measure it." he ordered.

I took a scale and found it to be some 7.6 mm.

"It is 7.6mm sir and since in this graph, 5 microns is equal to 9 mm.."
I was about to scale the measured value and tell him, but he interrupted.

"is equal to?????" he asked.

"err.. i mean.. scale.. equivalent"

"Equivalent??? You and this guy have a head, 2 eyes etc.,. Both of you are equivalent?" He asked pointing at one of the TAs. All of us smiled including the embarrassed TA.

After a minute of silence, 
"Ok. Since you used the word equivalent, what are equivalent traingles?"

Is there anything called equivalent triangles? I dont know.
"Sir, if the angles in 2 triangles are same, they are called as equivalent triangles."

"Oh! then what are similar triangles?"

Shit. "Sir, similar triangles are the ones with equal angles. I do not know what are equivalent triangles."

May be he also did not know. He changed the question.

"What is the distance between the cylindrical part and the probe just before the start of the experiment?"

"That is the stupidest question I have ever heard" I wanted to say. All we know is that it is kept at a certain distance before we start measuring the roundness. 
After another moment of silence and a blank face that I put, 

"It will be shown in the screen at that time." He gave a supposed-to-be-hint-for-him while it was pure-bull-shit for me.

"Sorry sir. I did not see." I tried to be as polite as possible.

"You did not see??" He was surprised as if I did not see Rehman receiving Oscar.

"I mean.. I saw.. but I did not observe sir."

This is the moment I was caught! Folding his hands, adjusting his spectacles close to his nose and leaning back a bit, "Ok. What is the difference between seeing and observing?"

How the hell is it related to roundness measurement? Anyways, 

"Seeing is just looking at things and observation is understanding what you see, sir" I replied smartly. Smart enough that he gave this comment which I am currently trying to interpret - 
"As your age increases, your knowledge should increase but it is currently decreasing for us."

Lastly, he asked me if I participated for Shaastra. I wanted to boast that I am the design core but then imagining the consequent questions that may follow, I packed.

That`s it for the day. One hell of psychic melodrama in MSB.

Catch you later guys.


karthik tsd said...

lol :D maxx!!! nice post..
this prof tries to psych each n every turn, i addressed that 'measuring instrument' we used in the experiment as a 'machine' and then started the rape!!
he asked me to define a 'machine'?? WTF?? who can define a machine there and then so spontaneously.. I managed to give him a very informal meaning to it..and he expects me to define it perfectly as a mech engg student..n totally my viva screwed up this way!!

nithin said...

You know what?
All my viva's end up me being the awesome guy as my roll number comes in the end :P
And the best part was today of us told the TA at 4 that we have a minor class at 4 15. And he let us go without waiting for the prof who is supposed to take a viva... \m/

Abhinay said...

Lol!A.P.Singh was the worst to get raped!If you don't know who A.P.Singh is watch your clock and spot the person who enters the class 20 min late from the front door!(like an A.P=??!!yes he is one).M.S.S concluded that A.P.S is addicted to drugs!!(:P).And poor Mr.A.P stammered as usually!TCM too got screwed!After both the heavy weights I could pass through easily! He asked me where my head was?I thought he wanted me to measure its roundness error!I pointed to my head.Then he said"that is the beauty of engineering if you had your head some where between your two legs how would it have been?".Felt like saying "you already have it there".He then said "You guys should be active!During our days I even had my name on the records of Saidapettai police station!"I again felt like saying "Thank you Mr.criminal".But criminal turned to be Sir .And in the next batch GVB.Ajay was asked to tell a story!He could tell him the King's 7 sons&7 fishes story.Then he was asked to draw out a conclusion from the story!He couldn't.Then he went on and on for different stories.Finally,he could draw a conclusion from Fox and Swan story to escape M.S.S

ravi teja said...

so, nice stories for everyone :)

I heard that he is asking junta to recite panchatantra stories if they pass all the questions on experiments. He recently started commenting on junta`s hair, apparels, pens etc.,.

rajeevloya said...

I guess you're lab is very funny unless you aren't the one who got raped
Gr8 post man
He should have asked me to tell the story
I would tell the story in Prayanam with the same effects (as Bhrami told)

ravi teja said...

he definitely needs such a treatment man!